Things have come to a complete stand-still in ways that I could never have imagined. I spent my fair amount of time in denial, but when the schools closed, I could no longer deny that things were changing in a historical way. Once I saw the situation with some clarity, I realized that the majority of what was happening was out of my control and my only option was to keep moving forward.
I am so very grateful and fortunate for the position that I found myself in prior to the shutdowns. I have worked from home for the past year and a half, so I did not have to transition from a work aspect. I can never over-express my gratitude to the Universe for allowing me to weather this shift so far. Namaste.
As a small business owner however, I was perplexed. Right before the crisis came knocking on America’s door, I made the decision to go for it; to put more money and effort into my business. I successfully recruited personal investors. I spent thousands of dollars on marketing, products and materials. I scheduled events through the summer. I event thought about bringing on a part-time assistant to help things go smoothly. I was so ready to hit the gas pedal and change my life. I can almost hear the Universe laughing playfully in my ear as I write these words, because other plans were in place for me and for society.
I have never lost sight of my blessings compared to what others are going through, but I had to acknowledge my own personal disappointment. I had to wonder if I had been crazy for attempting to start this business. All of the things that I had put into place, all of the items that I had purchased, all of the investment money that I had spent seemed like foolish trinkets now. As the dates for my previously planned events passed, I felt a little bit of shame. Why would I invest so much into my little dream? I could have put those funds safely into my savings account for a rainy day (more like a hurricane in our current climate). I realized that it was okay, maybe even necessary to walk the lengths of my feelings. Although I try hard to be optimistic, I am also human, and as long as I am human, I cannot separate myself from human emotions. When I finally allowed my feelings of disappointment and shame to come into focus, it felt natural to acknowledge and accept them. I found that much like people, feelings and emotions just want to feel validated. I had briefly caused a blockage by not facing my feelings as they were, but the Universe reminded me not to lose focus on my passion by over-attending the current side-show. The Universe told me to just keep moving forward.
I for one am extremely grateful to be alive during this time of transition. This time of intense human connection makes me excited to see how the human paradigm is changing and shifting. It is acutely ironic that human connection is happening due to social-distancing, which proves that the Universe has a gentle sense of humor attached to it’s Great and Infinite wisdom. What else would cause all races and nationalities to come together other than an intense fight for our collective survival? Things are changing, but there is no need to be afraid. Change is change.
I am grateful that teachers are getting a paid “break” from having overcrowded classrooms. There are days when my kids test my sanity to the limits. On those days, I think of the teachers who have my kids plus 20 others in their classrooms, plus disengaged parents and impossible demands from school districts. I know teachers are still working and they miss their students, but I appreciate the opportunity to know more about my kids’ learning styles along with their learning gifts and challenges. I think this will make me a better parent and partner to the school system.
I am grateful that the Earth is healing. I notice how much brighter the sun shines in my window each morning and how much easier the air is to breathe. I look at pictures from around the world showing how clean and clear and beautiful the rivers and skies are. I love to see and hear about how animals are coming out of the shadows and re-entering their kingdoms of grass and trees and clean water and community. The weight of all of our traffic and unconscious usage and consumption of everything possible has greatly reduced, allowing the Earth to balance our human existence. Namaste.
I am grateful for the opportunity to spend more time on the “little things”, which are actually pretty big things. I’ve spent hours dancing and singing and laughing with my kids lately. They are hilarious to the extent of needing their own reality show. Then we videochat everyone who will answer (even more than we did before things came to a halt) and laugh some more. I am grateful for the chance to get to know myself better, to re-dedicate myself to the things that I want to accomplish in life. I am grateful for the additional time I can spend on expanding my product line and upgrading my business practices. I am grateful for the opportunity to become more clear, more focused and more organized. Things are not always all laughter and organization; some days are a real challenge, but every day has an opportunity for increased gratitude.
I think about the suffering that many people and families are going through right now because of job loss and financial insecurity. I think about the young man that I talked to the other week who was working in the grocery store, wiping down carts without gloves because they simply did not have any available. I think about the people who are afraid to go out at all and about the people experiencing increase hunger or physical abuse because of the lockdown. It can be difficult to find the love in any of these situations. It does not seem like enough to send thoughts of love and light to others, but it is enough, it matters, and it counts. Being kind and courteous, thinking of others before over-purchasing supplies, calling to check on a neighbor or friend all count as love. Love is a rare resource that increases as it is used and given. There is never a shortage. Love is the fuel that we need to keep moving forward. Namaste.