I watched a program yesterday that told the story of a man who commited acts that are unspeakable to most of society. Though watching television in general is out of the norm for me, I could not bring myself to stop watching (which means I was more listening while doing something else). Then I heard the words that are still ringing in my ears and brain right now. The man who committed these acts revealed how he was able to control and destroy so many lives. The man said “If you keep people broke and tired, they will not go anywhere.”
I had to take many a deep breath and let this one sink in, because this ideology is so engrained into most of us that we do not even recognize the game. We have even sympathized and normalized this form of control that literally stumps the growth of our lives. Have you ever heard someone say Work as hard and as much as you can while you’re young? Do you know of a stay-at-home wife who is completely dependent on someone else financially while fading away from taking care of 3 kids, a house and a husband all while staying in excellent physical shape just to look the part of the happy wife and mother? What about when you worked 20 hours of overtime only to see less money on your check than expected? It is all an exhausting bait and switch. The breakthrough that you are looking for rarely manifests under this system of control.
While I do work a lot (I’m literally making products in-between writing this blog post), my work no longer leaves me feeling exhausted; on the contrary it leaves me feeling energized and excited. And of course it feels risky to leave behind the routine 9-5 (work all day, get off in time to get ready for bed, still not making ends meet x 30 years) but I believe that leaving that system gives me freedom to live my life during the daytime hours. And yes, I was once that wife who thought that eventually I would get the support to follow my dreams if I only did what other un-happy wives did. I thought that one day we would all be happy within this system. I cannot speak for others, but it did not happen for me.
Who knows why life works the way that it does! Who would have thought that listening to this tragic story would reveal the construct upon which much misery is born. I am grateful to have heard the truth, even if it came from someone who did things that most of us could not even think about. Now that I know the game, I can see the players much more clearly. Most people mean well; they pass along how they were able to keep their heads above water- by staying at the same job for 50 years, even though they always dreamed of opening their own boutique or record store. Women talk about how they waited for one man for 15 years, which leaves them too emotionally exhausted to fall in love with themselves. I am grateful that I finally listened to my spirit and gained insight about this slight of hand system in my 40s instead of in my 60s. I can’t really say that I am just finding out about it because my spirit has always told me when something was not right; frequent illnesses, extreme depression and suicidal thoughts, lack of energy were all physical manifestations of my refusal to listen.
There is no time to wallow in what we feel are our mistakes. If this message resonates, just breathe it in, accept what is, pay gratitude for what you have learned and then get to work on finding and loving yourself. I am sure there are other ways to achieve freedom from the “keep them tired and broke” loyalty system, however love is the only way that I know to change this narrative. One day it may be revealed to me why the players behaved the way they did, but I certainly have no interest in spending one second on that task. There is too much of myself that I need to know and love. I have spent enough time waiting for the payout from the tired and broke system and their players. I am putting up that index finger and tipping out of the church. I am going somewhere where the air is fresh and I can see my beautiful face in the reflection of a clear lake of water. I am going to find the love inside of me, so that I can share true love with everyone that I meet. I hope you will join me.