I decided to share one of my “secret shames” today. I hope it helps someone to become free from any shame, big or small.
I read somewhere recently that you have to accept the complete story of “You”, not just the parts that you like. To me, that simply means that you must release yourself from shame surrounding ANYTHING in your life that others may see as undesirable.
As you may know, I make All-Natural Skin Care products. You probably don’t know that my skin is very far from flawless. I have dark areas that were caused by trauma and by medications that I took to treat my acne that have been on my face for well over 20 years. I also have chin-area drama every single “my time of the month”. These are things that I have just come to terms with; they have to be managed in the best way possible.
Although I have had some remarkable improvement since I started using my own skin care line, I can still sometimes hear the voice of my secret shame asking me: “who would want to buy skin-clearing products from someone who has their own skin problems?” That little nagging voice would creep in when I least expected it until I started expecting it. It started whenever I would look at myself in the mirror with admiration of the improvement that I have noticed, like it wanted to take me down a notch or two. And sometimes it did just that.
One day, I heard my spirit say to me “If it were not for your skin flaws, you would not have a skin care line.” I heard it so clearly that it stopped me from whatever I was doing; I had to let that sink in. All of the years that I have cursed my acne and problem areas, I was actually cursing my own blessing. Once I let that sink in for a moment, I heard my spirit say “If it were not for your recurring problem areas, you would not be able to create something to help other women with the same problems.” When I realized the complexity of the plans that the Universe goes through to bring our dreams to reality, I felt extremely humble. Even though my prior instinct would have been to feel bad about cursing my skin, I replaced it with gratitude. I love to help people, but when I can help people from the lessons of my own personal journey, it feels like more than helping. It feels like sharing the gift of my soul’s journey- it feels like inspiration and connection. It feels like a gift that transcends the talent and enters a greater language that we all know but none of us can speak.
So, I am grateful for the Universe and how it works tirelessly to make it all work. Even when I did everything possible to ruin my own blessing, I was still blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Namaste.
So, here it is! Me in a selfie that I took today on Al Gore’s internet without any makeup or filters. My hair is running wild and free and my eyebrows clearly reflect the current lack of access to a beauty professional. I do like how white my teeth are though.
The other day, my 10 year old son said to me during a car ride: Mom, you look so pretty in the morning before you put on makeup. I thought to myself, what does he want from me, money? an X box 10,000? But I knew that he really meant it. Now, I kinda think so too Nicholas. Namaste.