Over the course of my awakening, I have become predominantly indifferent to many things (and people) that used to drive me to tears and sleepless nights. The causes of these emotional meltdowns stemmed from an ego that convinced me that it was indeed all about me. I am thankful that I have released this burden of claiming everyone’s bad behavior as my personal responsibility.
There are few things that I dislike as much as a cliché, but you really should not take another person’s behavior personally. Let’s look at road rage as an example. Someone whom you have probably never met before is riding your bumper and angrily laying on the horn (productive, right?). A reflex could cause you to flip this lovely individual off and that would be understandable. It is not however rational to let this person ruin the remainder of your day, because their behavior is not about you. Do not take this person’s poor behavior into your arms and coddle it like a new born baby; just let it go.
Now, let’s think about the time that your kid threw an absolute fit in public because you said they couldn’t swim naked in the fountain at the mall. The kid is screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking, crying spitting and maybe even swearing. You find yourself square in the middle of a “I’m a horrible parent” drama, but you are not and this meltdown has absolutely nothing to do with you personally (and the people who are staring and pointing can really take a hike). You are not a horrible parent; you are a person in a situation with other people who all need each other. The Universe uses us all to help one another; it brings us together so that we can all learn and grow together.
So- what do we do when someone else’s unsavory behavior lands right in our personal space? Here are a few of my favorite hacks:
I Turn Myself Into A Mirror
Because that’s what I really am in this moment; a mirror that can talk back to the person that is all in my face right now. As hard as we may try, our stationary reflections just will not give us the answers that we want sometimes. This could be because who we really are is not fully represented in the mirror. The mirror only gives us a recognizable visual projection of our mind, soul and spirit. Sometimes others lash out at us because they see something within us that they need to resolve; we become the talking and (hopefully) rational mirror to someone else’s issue. Unlike a stationary mirror, we can and usually will respond in the manner that the person in front of us needs us to. There are no coincidences; whomever we are in contact with (be it briefly or for a lifetime) has come to help us along our journey. Your reaction as a mirror can show you many things about yourself if you will allow it to do so.
I Send Them Positive Thoughts
Once I was driving in to work and came upon an intersection. There was a guy driving in from the left at top speed in order to beat the red light. It didn’t bother me to give him the right of way, so that’s what I did. The gentleman took the time to turn and look at me and give me the middle finger as he was traveling about 65mph in a 25mph zone. This was years ago, but whenever I come to that intersection today, I think of him and send him positive thoughts; I pray that love and light floods his life every moment of every day because life has to be pretty bad for you to flip someone off for giving you the right of way. Be the brighter person and just send them some kindness. You have plenty extra to share and they need your extras.
I Think Before I Speak
Talking less has become a thing since my awakening. I prefer to listen and to think about how we all intertwine with one another; about how the Universe works to bring us to the right place at the right time with the right people. All of this thinking makes it hard to give a quick response in tense situations, which used to be my thing. I would have comebacks so quick and slick that I surprised myself by some of the things that came from my mouth. My ego was always ready for battle! Now…meh. Is it really worth me lowering my vibration to engage in what seems like foolishness? In most instances, I choose to vibe high. I like feeling free to think about beautiful things and places and I just cannot stand to chatter about things that won’t even matter in the next 15 minutes. My goal is to be the best mirror that I can be so that I can show others the best within themselves.
I Measure My Growth
I was in the store the other day, walking towards the checkout when a lady with a buggy started walking behind me at a speed that was faster than mine. I did not allow this to change my pace, however her energy was yucky and took me out of my zone when her buggy threatened to run into me. I turned and looked at this lady and smiled, even belly laughed at her as I said “I really hope you hit me with that buggy”. My laugh was so genuine that it caused her to have a genuine laugh as well. We were laughing like old friends while casually and potentially getting ready to have some level of an altercation. She laughed and said “I’m not going to hit you with the buggy”, to which I replied while laughing almost to tears “I really, really hope you hit me with that buggy lady, we are both about to have an interesting day.” As you can see, I am a work in progress. My words and demeanor did not really match but it was a definite improvement from the days when I would have just verbally taken her to the river. #Growth.
I am grateful for my turns at being on the good side of the mirror. I can see how far I have come and how much my connection has grown to my fellow man. We all behave badly sometimes, which is just part of being human. I am grateful for those who serve as my mirror. Thank you for showing me the best and most challenging parts of myself. We will not always get it right, but we need one another in order to make it. We need empathy and understanding and kind words. We need those screaming kids in the mall to remind us that we all just want to be loved, valued and free and to live without judgement.
We are all mirrors of each other, and we all want love in some form. I hope that we can love each other through the periods of road rage and buggy fights . I hope that we can love each other through gossip and lies and deceit and dishonesty. It is not always easy, but it is always possible. We are in this together, capsuled by the same earth and sky. Each new situation is an opportunity for organic growth of love and human connection. It is a chance to mirror the real truth of who we are- limitless spiritual beings searching for love and solitude within one another. Let love win. Namaste.