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Essential: “What-If” Questions

On the Instagram page of Inspirational Teacher Michael Beckwith was a post that changed the course of my manifestations. It was early one morning just after my 6:20am alarm went off. I did a quick social media check and came across the post that asked a simple, powerful question: “What What-If questions have you asked yourself lately? “. I contemplate this question almost every day now. Challenging myself to dream big has faithfully paid off.


This particular morning when I saw the post from Teacher Michael Beckwith, I was thinking about ways to make things better or move faster. I wanted a way to tell how things were manifesting for me in the Spiritual realm. Did anyone even use the samples that I sent? Do they read my posts and messages? Are my products making a difference to anyone?

This simple post on Instagram challenged me to ask a different question. Instead of obsessing over the past with “did they” questions, why not empower myself and my vision with “what if” questions?

So, that is exactly what I did. I began training myself to ask more “what if”(empowering) questions and less “did they” (obsessive) questions. There is no benefit and no glory in obsessing over the past, but there is greatness in living in the present while imagining a brighter future.

The thing that I love about what-if questions is that they automatically draw you in to the vision. If you were to close your eyes right now and ask yourself “What if I could take a vacation this summer?”, your mind will start to formulate a picture of you in the vacation getaway of your dreams, living with total happiness and freedom. There is no place in a “what-if” fantasy for limitations or suffering. The other thing that I love, is that you dream bigger and bolder within a “what-if”, sub-conscious vision than you do in the ego generated conscious vision. The what-if question is like a secret button to automatically start the manifestation process. I am learning to trust it; to fall backwards into the newly forming reality with trust, love and gratitude. The first time that I intentionally asked myself a what-if question, I was surprised by how quickly the vision manifested. It was something simple, like “what if I could have a day off soon?”. I entered the vision of myself getting organized, catching up on tasks, maybe even taking a nap in the middle of the day for absolutely no reason. Within a day or two came a reminder email that our company was closed for President’s day. Lucky strike I figured. Soon the effects of my what-if questions could not be denied. I asked myself “What if I had the money to upgrade to a Business Site so that I could properly display and offer my products for purchase?” The money very soon appeared from a source that I could not have imagined. It is like the “what-if” question is some sort of secret button that automatically starts manifesting the desires of my soul. It is such now that I know the support for my passion is being manifested within every second of every day. There are so many signs along the way, so many nudges and clues from the Universe that it has my undivided attention, and I am a willing and obedient student.

Pay Gratitude

Once I realized that I have the power to manifest the life of my dreams, I find moments of gratefulness even when things are extremely hard. It must be a part of the automatic manifestation system, because it just happens. Whenever the focus is on the low-vibration (self-pity, anger, frustration, etc), the higher vibration chimes in (thankfulness, service, happiness). One day I thought about how it would be nice to have a few updated appliances to make it a little easier to make my products; almost instantly I heard, “but I am thankful that I am able to make them at all”. I thought about how far I had come from this time last year, about how much my process and my products have evolved and how much I enjoyed the time I spent making things for people. It took some time for me to learn to shift focus to the high-vibration, and sometimes it takes a bit longer than others, but I am grateful that I am getting the picture a little more each day.


I really love making products that make people feel better. I love getting the text, or the call or the instant message saying I helped someone. I’ve heard that those things are not supposed to effect us, but sometimes I indulge. It feels like a little burst of heaven when something that I made has touched another life, and I like it. I could live lifetimes from that rich, concentrated feeling of joy and human connection. It makes me want to make things even better. It makes the wait for full manifestation bearable, because there is no wait- the journey is the real treasure, and it is littered with diamonds and gems. When you are doing what you love and concentrating on your passion, the Universe has no choice but to support you in all ways possible. Your passion is needed; it is required to promote Universal healing. “What if I had the support that I need” turns into support, and it does so quickly, because your presence and your talents are needed to heal humanity. When you are about your business that comes from a place of love and obedience, you are supported by the Universe.


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Essential: Acts and Energies

One of the lessons that I continue to pursue is the quest to reduce egocentric drama.  Although I have successfully made some relationship adjustments, I often wondered how I could reassign a person’s significance in my life without judging him or her.   During a late-night meditation, the answer was revealed to me.  It is all about alignment.

balance beach boulder close up
Photo by Danne on


The word alignment is one of those words that used to cause me to roll my eyes because it seems to be everywhere.   I try very hard not to fall into the traps of the overused and trending sections of societal beliefs, but I thought maybe this word alignment has real roots and value.  I recently finished reading a book called “The Vortex” by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and the text definitely filled some gaps in my personal understanding regarding the importance of alignment.

I recently made a decision in a matter of minutes that would have probably taken me months or even years in the past.  I felt good about the decision; it felt right and I felt lighter once it was made.  The fact is that the situation was no longer working for me, and I made the decision to put myself and my well-being first without a second thought.  I did contemplate it later, just to be sure that I received the lesson that was intended from this particular situation.  I wanted to look for signs of my ego and one of it’s more infamous tools- judgement.  The answer that I received from The Divine Universe was this:  “There is a difference between an Act and an Energy.  You know the difference!”

Pay Gratitude:

The truth is, I have always known the difference, even if I did not put that knowledge into action.  Knowing the difference between someone’s Act and their Energy but neglecting to put that knowledge into action on behalf of one’s own benefit can lead to years of complacency and suffering.  For example, if your boyfriend, who is loving and kind 29 out of 30 days every month, says an unkind word to a waiter on day 30 of month 11, that is probably a regrettable act.  He probably feels horrible, apologizes immensely  and then tips the poor guy 30%.  If your boyfriend is loving and kind 29 minutes out of every 24 hours and is impatient and coarse the remainder of the time, that is likely an energy.  He may have gone through 3 or 4 girlfriends this year who know the difference and acted upon it accordingly, or he may have 1 girlfriend who knows the difference but is not aligned with herself enough to act accordingly.  This girlfriend may endure some needless suffering indeed.  Don’t be this girlfriend.

When the Divine and Infinite Energy reminded me that I knew the difference between an act and an energy, I was grateful beyond words for having the self-love to take action on that knowledge.  There was a time when I did not value myself enough to act.  There was a time when the physical and emotional red flags of mis-alignment nearly killed me, but my need to please others was apparently stronger than my will to live.  Instead of listening to the wisdom of Spirit, I hopped on the emotional wave of my ego and was swept away to a destination that I had no desire to visit and stayed way longer than I ever wanted.

brown framed light bulb
Photo by Skitterphoto on

I have noticed  that when I am acting upon Spiritual guidance, a small act such as a change in my thought pattern, a walk outside, a deep breath, or just saying “no” is all that is required.  The ego on the other hand likes to flail about and display acts that draw attention from all corners of the earth.  This is how I now know the difference between judging someone versus mis-alignment.  When I judge someone, it usually results in things like anger, confusion and gossip, and physical symptoms such as increased heartrate.  When I am mis-aligned  with someone, it usually results in me saying “no” to their invitation to change my vibration to one that does not serve me.  The act of correcting my mis-alignment feels good and I feel at peace.  I even feel grateful and  excited to see what is next.



affection board broken broken hearted
Photo by Pixabay on

The other thing that I am grateful for is that Love conquers all.  Even when things are difficult and when energies are off, it is all part of the plan to bring us all into alignment.  All things that are done in the Spirit of love serves a purpose even when it feels uncomfortable.  We are strong enough to ride the wave of emotion without becoming attached to those emotions.   There is no real separation between any of us, only re-alignment, purpose fulfillment and journey progression.  Namaste.



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Essential- One

I started my own business about a month ago.  I help small business owners manage their day to day business tasks. I help with sending emails, managing social media pages, and scheduling just to name a few.  Whatever they need, I am here to assist.

One of my clients requested help with coordinating some of  the events that she has been unable to complete due to her busy schedule.  It is exhilarating  to be a part of everything and to see it all come together, but I hit a mental obstacle the day of the first event that I coordinated.  After all of the outreaching, coordinating, posting and promoting, what if no one actually attended?

white and blue come on in we ere open signage
Photo by Tim Mossholder on



Part of me felt confident in the work that I had done, but another part of me was in a small panic.  I resolved to the fact that I did my absolute best while I waited for the call saying the event was a disaster.  Thankfully that call never came, but I did receive a message from the Universe.  I guess it was my ego that wanted the place to be standing room only with people fighting to get into the building.  I felt a little sad inside thinking that it might not be that way, but the Universe had a different message for me.  The message was- it only takes one.

It only takes one person to change everything.  Would I have rather had 100 of the wrong people to show up or the 1 right person?  It reminded me to be grateful for the individuals instead of the crowd.  It reminded me to stay in the moment and to appreciate everything and everyone and to resist the hype of my ego.  So indeed, I learned something profound, and I paid gratitude for every person in attendance.

Pay Gratitude:

During the process of starting my business, I realized that the journey to  Essential Her started it all.  I thought about giving up the blog and the whole idea of what I wanted Essential Her to become, but again the Universe stepped in and showed me how to revitalize what I started.  The Universe showed me that the time lapses when I was not active were part of the journey.  Indeed, it showed me that although I may not get a lot of traffic, it only takes one.  Maybe there is one person who will read one of my blog entries and connect with the message.  Maybe one person will re-invest in themselves as I did, or think about things differently than they did yesterday.   I am grateful that the message came through just for me, and that I listened.

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on


I love my new path.  I learn something new about myself and my community every single day.  If I am not working on a project or developing my product line, I am reading or listening to something motivational or laughing with my kids.  These things seem simple, but the value that they add to my life is priceless.  I am learning to live in the moment, to resist the stories that my mind creates about how far-fetched this whole thing is, and to realize that every single moment is valuable.  If indeed journey is the destination, then I made it.  Namaste.

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Essential- Journey to All Natural


It’s amazing to think of all of the transformations that have taken place in my life over the past year.

Pay Gratitude:

One of the things that I have been most drawn to is using and making my own natural products.  I’m not sure how this started, but I am grateful that I  have become passionate about the entire process.  I love finding new natural ingredients, discovering their magical properties, then putting them to the test.  I have noticed some personal positive changes, including smoother skin with less acne outbreaks, stronger healthier hair and less “unsavory” mood and body changes surrounding that special time of the month.


I love my Rosewater, but now I am thinking about offering Rosewater infused with Hibiscus.  I have been intrigued with Hibiscus Flowers for awhile but more for the nutritional properties.  After reading about Hibiscus’ reputation for rapid hair growth, I decided I had to try it.

So, here is a picture of me on day one of using Rosewater infused with Hibiscus.  I also made a Hibiscus Oil that I added to a bottle of my personal oil blend.  I’m going to give it 3 months to see if there is a significant difference.  I will post pictures every few weeks for a time lapse.  Here goes!  Namaste.




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Essential- Inspiration

There seem to be countless upon endless inspirational speakers all over social media.  You can tumble down the rabbit hole of “you can do it” videos on the tube, never to be seen or heard from again.  I have watched them…lots of them.  At one point, I even thought I wanted to be one of them, to represent a different type of inspiration from a different point of view (and still, you never know).  You can imagine my surprise when my greatest sources of inspiration were two people who were not shouting into microphones or selling a three-part dvd series; they were just living their lives authentically.

photo of people gathering in room
Photo by Luis Quintero on



As you may be able to tell from the *ahem* sketchy consistency of my blogging, I may have temporarily lost my motivation.  I had a ton of great ideas and projects that I wanted to put into play, however I usually found myself lying around playing candy crush or some other mind-numbing activity.  It was as if the connection between my brain and my body was severed, which happens to be one of the side-effects of not taking my anti-depressants for 6 months.  So the first step was to attempt to return to humanity by getting my brain chemicals back on track.  After a few weeks, I found the drive to do something about all of the ways I wanted to change and improve my life.  Not that sitting in front of a computer all day repeating the same soul-draining tasks is a bad thing, however I just want a little more life in my life.

Pay Gratitude:

The Universe has this way of bringing people into your life who mirror a part of who you are and who you could be at the precisely right time.  The person who inspired me the most  during this transitional time did not enter my life in a grand fashion; there was no long stare across the room or instant moment of “knowing”.  It was quiet, like when you’re waiting to see the doctor for 40 minutes and finally he knocks softly and comes right in (knocking of course is just a formality).  This person did not come in quoting great philosophies or regurgitating rhythmic clichés.  In fact, they were shocked when I told them that I admired them.  They had the courage to go against the  status quo 9-5, 2 fifteen minute breaks and a 30-minute lunch lifestyle.  They took the risk to start their own business, to make their own hours, to go on vacation without the dreaded time-off request battle.  (Seriously, why do we have to ask permission to take time off from our own lives?)  I am forever grateful to the Universe for bringing us together, and to my friend for living authentically and out loud.  Namaste.

adventure boy girl idyllic
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on

I was not nearly as close to the second person who inspired me, but like my dear friend she too seemed to lived life on her own terms; she dressed authentically and wore her hair and jewelry in a way that represented her culture and beliefs.  One of the things that I loved the most when I first started working from home was the freedom to wear whatever I wanted and not having to cover my body art.  It’s like having layers (or letting your layers show I should say) is looked down upon in mainstream society.  To see this successful female minority  business owner paving her own way was the final straw.  I was looking at what I wanted to be, and I was kind of over not being that.  Again to the Divine Universe and to this brave trailblazer, Thank you, Namaste.


I re-evaluated and updated all of the soul-searching and growth that I have done over the past year and realized that even though I fell apart a little, there were still some pretty good pieces to work with.  I took the parts of Corporate America that I loved and started my own business earlier this month, and I signed my first paying client within a week.  I then realized that there are so many other things that I love, and that I can do most of them like, right now.  I am nervous and some days I wonder if I really have what it takes, but I love that too.  If I’m going to be nervous, why not be nervous about something that could change my life and give myself and my family a better future?   Why not be nervous on my own behalf instead of the behalf of fickle supervisors and companies?  So here I am, standing in front of an opened door that I have never approached, ready to start a new love and a fresh live on my own terms while I still have time within the Earth School.  Stay tuned (and wish me luck!)   BUSINESSLOVESART.COM


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Figuring out how to be in love is a daunting task.  One thing seems to be certain; the way that we view love in this collective human consciousness could use some refreshening.

I am a strong believer in doing what is right for oneself.  Following the crowd or doing what has been done in your family for generations can lead to needless suffering.  So I set out to obtain a better understanding of who I am and what I really want from a romantic relationship.  The Universe recently sent me some lessons to refine my understanding of love.  When those lessons came to an end, I came away with three new understandings.



It is all bout the Spiritual Connection

I came to realize that my ultimate goal is to be in a relationship that provides a dope Spiritual Connection (Spiritual High).  Of course a Spiritual Connection can be obtained individually, but it is enhanced when you combine your experience with someone who wants the same things out of life that you do.  You can see the impact of combined spiritual experiences all around you; it is the hype at sporting events or the vibe during a jam session.  A Spiritual Connection allows you to see more of God, more of the beauty of nature; it allows you to be loved and free at the exact same time.  It allows you to see and understand things with clarity.  A Spiritual Connection allows you to be the best version of yourself.

Access Points

There are countless access points (people, substances, situations) to the Spiritual Connection/ Spiritual High and each access point will give you something different.  I briefly dated a guy (access point) but I recently ended things with him.  In the past, I would have either held on to  (or married) this limited access point in hopes of changing him.  Thank goodness I am no longer that girl!  I simply realized that this access point is not the one for me.  Sure there were some good things; the attention and affection were nice, but there were too many contaminants.  I did not want to corrupt my Spiritual connection with blaming, inconsistency or constant disappointments, so I let go.  Thankfully, it only took me 2 months to recognize the obvious this time instead of 9 years.  This was not the access point meant for me, and that is okay.  I hacked in for a brief time but I moved on when it was necessary.

I also came to realize that I am an access point as well.  There is someone out there looking for my exact qualities; it would be a shame if he could not find me because I am  “connected” to the wrong outlet or trying to fix something that does not belong to me.  My time is better spent upgrading and maintaining my Spiritual access point (myself).

Set Your Intentions

The connection that you are seeking belongs to you, so you must figure out exactly what you want.  Some people want to be married with 2.5 kids, others want to remain single, travel the world and have a boyfriend in every city.   Both choices are valid, but imagine if the world traveler somehow ended up with the 2.5 kids living a stationary life of endless soccer games and potato salad.  There could be some misery in her future after the honeymoon phase wears off.  Taking the time to set intentions allows you to see what you don’t want from 10 miles away so that you can duck into an alley and save yourself.

Our desires tend to change over time and that is okay too.  The point is to be sure that they are your desires, not what society or your mom says you have to do.  Look around; the Universe allows everything to go on, even things that we consider bad.  Rules are self-imposed, so set your own rules and boundaries.  Set your own love intentions.

Pay Gratitude:

Although things did not work out with the guy, I am grateful for him.  He will be the perfect access point for someone, but not for me.  He allowed me to put my new and improved boundaries to the test in real-life.  I communicated more effectively than I think I ever have in a romantic relationship.  I am thankful to the Universe for sending him my way and for nudging me to end it when it was clear that this was not my access point.

I am also grateful for what I have learned about myself.  I can be in a relationship and still be an individual.  I can commit without giving myself completely away.  I can say what I want and what I need, and it is okay if the other person cannot give me those things.  It does not make my needs invalid nor does it make me needy.  It makes me a human looking for the access point that is right for me.


For me, love means letting him be.  If I love him, I won’t want to modify him, cut him down, make him stay, cancel his plans or make him dress a certain way.  To love him (for me) means to respect his beauty and his gifts.  It means to be honored by his presence and grateful for the time we spend together.  To love the person (access point) is to pay gratitude to all of the ways that he connects me to the Spiritual Realm.

I don’t subscribe to the “love takes work” theory.  Love is love; you do not have to make it or do anything to it.  Learning yourself takes work; commitment and compromise takes work but not love.  If you love someone, you just do because love is just love.



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Essential- YOUR Mental Health

*Disclaimer- I do not advocate stopping any medications without consulting your primary care provider.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day by calling 1-800-273-8255.*


I was diagnosed with Depression at the age of 21.  For more than 20 years I took antidepressants, however I weaned myself from my medications at the end of 2018.  This was not really planned; it was a combination of loss of insurance, the retirement of my primary care physician, financial limitations and a desire for a higher spiritual connection and less prescription drug toxicity.

There are many factors (financial, spiritual, ethical, etc.) that may cause people to venture into alternative mental health management.  It is not for me to judge myself or anyone else in their choices.  There is always another side of the story that none of us are necessarily privy to.  Although mental health is a concern of the collective human consciousness, it is also a very personal phenomenon .  There is no one-size treatment or cure, and we all share in the responsibility to love one another without judgement.

This is a very small excerpt of the story of MY Personal mental health.





For a while after stopping my medications, I felt amazing for months on end.  Sometimes I still feel amazing, and sometimes I struggle to open my eyes, let alone get out of bed.  I specifically titled this blog “YOUR Mental Health” because every journey is different.  Depression is different for a 45 year old single mother of young children (one of which has his own behavioral diagnosis) than it is for a 65 year old man recovering from a stroke.  Although my own journey with depression helps me to recognize some of the signs of depression in others, I can never presume to know what is best for another person.  I can however give some tips based on my own experiences that may help you relate to someone who you suspect may be suffering from depression.

  1.  Don’t Take It Personal.  People who know me well know that I have a tendency to go silent sometimes.  I don’t always answer calls or text messages in a timely manner, and leaving a voicemail is like burying a student loan bill in the sand- I have no desire to retrieve it.  There is almost a physical inability for me to engage in conversations sometimes because it simply takes more energy than I have available.  Even if you don’t get a response, sending a text that says “I’m thinking of you” may be exactly what your loved one needs.  It doesn’t require a response and doesn’t require any action on their part.  It is simply a gift of love and light.
  2.  Listen.   This one seems simple enough, but yeah, not really.    I probably don’t want your version of a solution to my problem, I just want to get it off of my chest with someone who I can trust with my vulnerability.  Life is a complex set of challenges and solutions are rarely simple.  Childhood and adulthood experiences, nature, nurture, financial challenges loneliness and isolation are among the many factors that shape my perceptions. Advise such as “Just don’t worry about it”  or “You’re just going to have to…” for a person like me sounds invalidating and uncaring, although I am sure that is not the intended effect.  Listening for me means entering that uncomfortable space of not knowing what to say or do to make me feel better.  It means you being vulnerable with me as I am being vulnerable with you.  It means being okay with not having a solution.   It may mean not responding verbally at all, or it may mean responding with ” I feel helpless because I don’t know what to say to make you feel better.”   It is hard to listen to someone who just needs to pass through the negative energy of the moment, but if you love them, please give it a try.  You may be surprised to find that you being there is enough (and by enough I mean everything they ever wanted).
  3. Recognize the cry for help.  Depression has a funny way of filtering my cries for help.  I think it has something to do with my sense of pride.  I never want to bother people and I definitely do not like to be rejected, so most of the time I will not come right out and ask for what I need.  Instead, I will hold it in and  further isolate myself.  It is a flaw that I recognize but have not quite figured out how to overcome.  You just have to know the person that you love that suffers from depression.  If you truly know them, you already know where they struggle- just offer to help them in those areas.   The old adage “you have not because you ask not” doesn’t always work with depression.  Sometimes I don’t even know what to ask for or I’m too exhausted to care, so I just deal with it.  It is indeed a vicious cycle, however knowing is half the battle.   If you know your friend is going through a period of depression, just go ahead and bring their trash can in that’s been sitting on the curb for 3 days.  It is a small gesture, but sometimes that is all we need.
  4. Don’t Judge.  Over the past few months, I have really opened myself to non-judgement especially of myself.  Judgement creeps in so subtly and causes so much harm and damage to self-esteem and to relationships.  For example, if I say to myself “I should not have eaten that ice cream”, I have basically condemned myself  to shame without having all of the evidence.  Food is medicine and is especially good medicine for depression.  Maybe my body knew that having that ice cream would provide me with a much needed emotional boost; I simply do not have enough information to make a negative judgment.  If I gain weight from eating ice cream,  whatever.  I hope you can love me anyway.
  5. Feel the feelings.   I have found that walking through my feelings  during a period of depression helps me much more than avoiding them.  I am here on Earth  to have a human experience and to explore every feeling that comes my way.  There is a difference between walking through a feeling and living there.  A 2 or 3 day bitterness event is probably harmless. Giving in to the seduction of bitterness and living there permanently is a different story.   I have become less afraid of negative feelings; I embrace them because I know they are here to teach me something or to force me to look at the good side of a current situation.  Gratitude allows me the safety of exploring my negative feelings; it tethers me to the surface when depression drags me down.


Pay Gratitude:  

I cannot express enough how much cultivating my own circle has shifted my personal growth.  I challenge you to evaluate those closest to you (including yourself) and ask how they are adding to your happiness.   My inner circle is small- like it’s probably more of a dot.  These are people, situations and events that I specifically choose; they are not handed down or joined to me due to heredity or obligation or guilt.  I am grateful for my circle.

When I wrote my intentions for my life some months ago, people and situations began to shed almost immediately.  Healthy distancing from familiar people and situations is  scary business.  Walking through the dark tunnel that connects your past life and the brightness of your future is full of ghosts and crickets and creepy noises.  There are times when I feel invisible and isolated.  There are days when I wonder if I even have a purpose or if I even exist.  Today, because of my circle ( and a little blind faith)  I know that I do have a purpose, and maybe I am coming to the end of this dark tunnel

My cousin asked me a couple of weeks ago to start posting again; she said she felt that I helped people and that my posts helped her.  She knows about my struggle with depression, but she also knew when and how to say what I needed to hear (see #3 above).  Earlier this week, my six year old daughter took her thumb out of her mouth (this usually proceeds some profound remark on her part) and asked me “Mommy, do you still write in your journals?”  I took it as a sign.  Today I was cooking some breakfast and thinking about writing my blog for the first time in a long time.  As I was thinking about it, my nine year old son randomly walked up behind me and handed me my laptop (again, maybe it’s a sign).   I definitely think that my circle has help from my Spirit Guides.  I am thankful that we all listened.




As I have asked several times throughout this blog, I ask again for your love, but not just for me.  I believe strongly that we can only make it together, and love always brings us together.   There are countless ways to express your love for those around you.  It can be as simple as extending grace to someone who has slighted you.  It can be putting a quarter in an expired parking meter (you never know when someone is literally down to their last dime).  It can be reading a blog about a personal account of mental health challenges and beginning to empathize with someone who has been labeled “lazy” or “Debbie downer” or “weirdo”.

I love that I can be vulnerable with the whole world right now.  I love that I have a voice, and that maybe my story will connect with others.  I love that I can help shed the negative stigma surrounding depression and mental health challenges.  And finally, I love all of those (not just the people mentioned here) who gently encouraged me to take my medicine (to write again).  Namaste.



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Essential- Money Consciousness

When I was without a steady source of income, I had to re-evaluate my life’s essentials (hence the name Essential Her).  The perception of lack of financial resources will trick you into looking outside of yourself  for the answers if you are not careful.  It will trick you into things like getting a second job (that you probably don’t want) or going into business for the wrong reasons.

Of course money is necessary for survival in our world, but often we look to the physical manifestation of financial abundance (dollar bills, debit cards, etc.) as the source of our problems instead of examining the lack that lives within our own souls.  I discovered that there were many things that I had incorporated into my lifestyle that were just fillers.  These fillers were attempts to satisfy the empty spaces in my soul.  They obviously were not working, otherwise I would not have been so emotionally and financially empty.


Many of the things that I did, utilized, even purchased were out of sheer adherence to old paradigms, and paradigms are always tied to finances.  For an example, I now realize that my grocery shopping paradigms (beliefs) manifested in my finances.    In the past, I made a long list of grocery items that we would need for the week based on four or five meals (one for each day with room for leftovers).  I previously believed that it is cheaper to shop for groceries for the month instead of “eating out” several times per week.  In hindsight, this belief likely led to food waste.  I thought about how many times I had to “clean out” the refrigerator, tossing unused vegetables, meat that had freezer burn, outdated  milk, milk that was no longer milk, etc. because we had not used the food items in a timely manner.   It was really more of a throwing away hoarded food as opposed to cleaning out.  Hoarding is an expression of the perception of lack, which is contrary to abundance.  Hoarding  in one area will manifest as lack in another, so it is very possible that hoarding in my kitchen was showing up as lack in my bank account.

This eventually led me to re-evaluate the products that I use around the house.    After doing some research, I realized that many of the chemicals in personal products and cleaning products are there to fill the need for more; more color, more suds, more smell, more shelf-life, more convenience.  Oh yea, and they cost more money too.  The addiction to more (especially more convenience in my case) had contributed to my perception of financial lack.  Money unfairly took the blame for my adherence to old paradigms.  I believe that money is a consciousness, so I think of money as a person.  Not many people will show up in your life if you falsely accuse them of something that they did not do, so now I can understand why money was not showing up for me.


Now that I am back working, I have continued to make more efficient purchases.  Once per week, I make cleaning supplies and personal care items for my family.  It is easy and cost effective and fun.  There are essential oils and herbs that can be purchased and utilized to get creative with aromas, textures and colors.  My son likes citrus scents and my daughter likes lavender and roses.  Imagine how much easier it is to get them to use their deodorant or moisturizer when it is made especially for them.  Imagine the love payment that I receive from them and the happiness that my soul experiences knowing that I made something for the people that I love.  It is priceless.

Pay Gratitude:

The revelation that I wasted a lot of time, money, food and creativity is another reason that I am grateful for the event that triggered my awakening.  Now instead of pouring my money into things that I eventually end up throwing away, I pour that money into myself, my family and my community.  What is even more amazing to me is that most of the things that I love to buy (essential oils, natural soaps, herbs, roses) are relatively inexpensive but extremely useful and long-lasting.  My love for shopping now has a meaning.  I am grateful that the Universe found a way to balance my human side (acquiring stuff) with my spiritual side (creating stuff) in a way that is meaningful and purposeful.



I love to share the things that I have made with my family and friends.  Even when I attempt to give some things away, people want to pay me for my creativity.  The point is, when you create something that comes from the soul that is made with love, the Universe supports you.  Your love is returned in the form of financial support.  Money is a form of love!  It feels amazing when people want to give you love (in the form of money) vs. having to ask for love (in the form of money) for the things that you have created.  It is a blessing indeed- it is a motivating force and the ultimate multiplier because love creates more love.  Namaste

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Essential- Community

Yesterday, I was featured on the local news because of what I guess you would call a good Samaritan act.  I must admit that I have enjoyed the response because it just feels good to be recognized for something positive.  My original intention had nothing to do with the media.  I was just a woman out with her kids one day looking to fulfill a promise that I made to myself and to the Universe.

I have transparently blogged about my recent challenges due to a job loss.  I learned so much during that time through meditation and spiritual connection.  I made a new covenant with the consciousness of money and wealth.  I realized that I needed to be more respectful and creative with my money, so prior to getting my first check from my new job, I set aside a pre-determined percentage of my income to charity.  The first time that I got paid from my new job, I knew that it was now or never; I had to do everything within my power to stick to the plan.  I can’t say that everything went exactly as planned in all of the other areas of my financial plan, but I stuck to my charity percentage.

It so happened that a crisis arose in my city that tugged very hard on my heartstrings right around my first payday.  Two men died in an apartment complex due to a gas leak, and all of the other residents had to be evacuated to nearby hotels.  The complex was condemned, so now all of those displaced residents were stuck in hotels indefinitely and without most of their personal belongings.  The whole scene took me back to when I lived in low-income housing.   I thought about how a setback such as this one would have devastated me financially as a young single mother and I just wanted to find a way to  help.



The kids and I made care packages and dropped them off at a local café.  We then went to the community center near the apartment complex to see if there was anything that we could do to help.  It just so happened that a news reporter pulled up when we did; she thought the fact that I was looking for a single parent household to sponsor was special and wanted to do a story.

I really did not think that I was doing anything extra special, but I was happy to cooperate.  I thought at the very least, the story might inspire other people to help other families within this community in crisis.  The response has been overwhelmingly positive.  Sponsoring this family has given me a new definition of Community.

Community is Expanded Consciousness

We are all a part of one enormous brain, but sometimes we only focus on the part that effects our personal physical comfort.  This can unfortunately leave us confined to one way of living and thinking.  We are lulled into thinking that reading about something or watching something on television is equivalent to actually experiencing that thing.  This experience has allowed me to look at reality from the perspective of another segment of the enormous brain that we all share.  I can see and feel how I am connected to people that I never even knew existed.   Connecting to others on a face-to-face and feet to pavement level is something that seems to be missing in our society at times.  It is easier to hide behind electronics or to let a “thumbs-up” button replace our true acts of humanity.  I too am guilty of these watered-down virtual interactions.  This opportunity is (for me) an important step into re-engaging with the human experience.

Community is Elevation

I grappled with my original intention throughout the days that I was aware I would be featured on the news.  I looked for signs of an inflated ego every chance that I got.  I know from experience that there is a very fine line between being authentic and being a show-off…and I measure that line by checking in with my intention.  It occurred to me that even having the presence of mind to check in with my intention was a clear sign of spiritual elevation.   I came to the conclusion that it was okay for me to take a pinch of excitement with me on the journey to helping others.  The Universe wants us to feel happy and excited when we do something with a loving intention, so I took that moment of happiness and excitement and bathed myself in it.  We were all excited and thankful for each other, that we had helped one another get to the next level of our individual journeys.  Community allows you to elevate to a higher quality version of yourself, which by the way feels amazing.

Community is Transformation

Because of this opportunity, I have taken another step towards transforming into a better version of myself.  When I promised this family that I would do all that I could to help them transition, I worked a little harder,  I reached out a little further and loved a little deeper and gave a little more.  Everyone who is involved in this interaction has transformed in some way…all of it (that I have seen) has been positive.  We have all given each other the opportunity to transform and to be a part of something greater than ourselves.  We are all on the same team playing our positions to the best of our abilities and it is transforming realities.  We will be different people this time next year; maybe this experience will be a distant memory but the imprint that it has made on our character will not be forgotten.

Pay Gratitude:

I am grateful that something changed within me during my spiritual journey.  My gratitude changed from putting words on paper into putting words into action.  This was one of those times.  I was not out to save the world last Saturday, I just wanted to live out my gratitude as I had promised the Universe.  I wanted to do something with the feeling of despair that I felt around the tragedy that happened at this apartment complex.  I wanted to transform my despair into something positive by putting my gratitude into action.  The thing about gratitude is this:  the more you pay it, the more it pays you.  The gratitude that I feel has become a consciousness.  It is a constant sense of calm and of fullness.  It is life.   I am grateful.




To everyone that has called, texted, donated, prayed, offered help, I send you love and light.  Thank you.  To the young lady who has given me the honor of being a part of her family for the next few months, I send you love and light.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I do believe that you are helping me even more than I am helping you.  We are in this together.  We are all connected.  Namaste.






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Essential- The Mirror

Over the course of my awakening, I have become predominantly indifferent to many things (and people) that used to drive me to tears and sleepless nights.  The causes of these emotional meltdowns stemmed from an ego that convinced me that it was indeed all about me.  I am thankful that I have released this burden of claiming everyone’s bad behavior as my personal responsibility.

There are few things that I dislike as much as a cliché, but you really should not take another person’s behavior personally.  Let’s look at road rage as an example.  Someone whom you have probably never met before is riding your bumper and angrily laying on the horn (productive, right?).  A reflex could cause you to flip this lovely individual off and that would be understandable.  It is not however rational to let this person ruin the remainder of your day, because their behavior is not about you.  Do not take this person’s poor behavior into your arms and coddle it like a new born baby; just let it go.

Now, let’s think about the time that your kid threw an absolute fit in public because you said they couldn’t swim naked in the fountain at the mall.  The kid is screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking, crying spitting and maybe even swearing.  You find yourself square in the middle of a “I’m a horrible parent” drama, but you are not and this meltdown has absolutely nothing to do with you personally (and the people who are staring and pointing can really take a hike).  You are not a horrible parent; you are a person in a situation with other people who all need each other.  The Universe uses us all to help one another; it brings us together so that we can all learn and grow together.

So- what do we do when someone else’s unsavory behavior lands right in our personal space?   Here are a few of my favorite hacks:



I Turn Myself Into A Mirror

Because that’s what I really am in this moment; a mirror that can talk back to the person that is all in my face right now.  As hard as we may try, our stationary reflections just will not give us the answers that we want sometimes.  This could be because who we really are is not fully represented in the mirror.  The mirror only gives us a recognizable visual projection of our mind, soul and spirit.  Sometimes others lash out at us because they see something within us that they need to resolve; we become the talking and (hopefully) rational mirror to someone else’s issue.  Unlike a stationary mirror, we can and usually will respond in the manner that the person in front of us needs us to.  There are no coincidences;  whomever we are in contact with (be it briefly or for a lifetime) has come to help us along our journey.  Your reaction as a mirror can show you many things about yourself if you will allow it to do so.

I Send Them Positive Thoughts

Once I was driving in to work and came upon an intersection.  There was a guy driving in from the left at top speed in order to beat the red light.  It didn’t bother me to give him the right of way, so that’s what I did.  The gentleman took the time to turn and look at me and give me the middle finger as he was traveling about 65mph in a 25mph zone.  This was years ago, but whenever I come to that intersection today, I think of him and send him positive thoughts; I pray that love and light floods his life every moment of every day because life has to be pretty bad for you to flip someone off for giving you the right of way.  Be the brighter person and just send them some kindness.  You have plenty extra to share and they need your extras.


I Think Before I Speak

Talking less has become a thing since my awakening.  I prefer to listen and to think about how we all intertwine with one another; about how the Universe works to bring us to the right place at the right time with the right people.  All of this thinking makes it hard to give a quick response in tense situations, which used to be my thing.   I would have comebacks so quick and slick that I surprised myself by some of the things that came from my mouth.  My ego was always ready for battle!  Now…meh.  Is it really worth me lowering my vibration to engage in what seems like foolishness?  In most instances, I choose to vibe high.  I like feeling free to think about beautiful things and places and I just cannot stand to chatter about things that won’t even matter in the next 15 minutes.  My goal is to be the best mirror that I can be so that I can show others the best within themselves.


I Measure My Growth

I was in the store the other day, walking towards the checkout when a lady with a buggy started walking behind me at a speed that was faster than mine.  I did not allow this to change my pace, however her energy was yucky and took me out of my zone when her buggy threatened to run into me.  I turned and looked at this lady and smiled, even belly laughed at her as I said “I really hope you hit me with that buggy”.  My laugh was so genuine that it caused her to have a genuine laugh as well.  We were laughing like old friends while casually and potentially getting ready to have some level of an altercation.  She laughed and said “I’m not going to hit you with the buggy”, to which I replied while laughing almost to tears “I really, really hope you hit me with that buggy lady, we are both about to have an interesting day.”  As you can see, I am a work in progress.  My words and demeanor did not really match but it was a definite improvement from the days when I would have just verbally taken her to the river.  #Growth.

Pay gratitude:

I am grateful for my turns at being on the good side of the  mirror.  I can see how far I have come and how much my connection has grown to my fellow man.  We all behave badly sometimes, which is just part of being human.  I am grateful for those who serve as my mirror.  Thank you for showing me the best and most challenging parts of myself.  We will not always get it right, but we need one another in order to make it.  We need empathy and understanding and kind words.  We need those screaming kids in the mall to remind us that we all just want to be loved, valued and free and to live without judgement.



We are all mirrors of each other, and we all want love in some form.  I hope that we can love each other through the periods of road rage and buggy fights .  I hope that we can love each other through gossip and lies and deceit and dishonesty.  It is not always easy, but it is always possible.  We are in this together, capsuled by the same earth and sky.  Each new situation is an opportunity for organic growth of love and human connection.  It is a chance to mirror the real truth of who we are- limitless spiritual beings searching for love and solitude within one another.  Let love win.  Namaste.